FACT: Portal 2’s Pre-Order Advert is Hilariously Cute

Portal 2 is going to be the best First Person Shooter (FPS) to come out this year. Or so I hope, for I really really suck at judging a game genre in which a hundred games are released every year. However, I am pretty sure Portal 2 will be the funniest FPS to come out this year, mostly because it takes itself too seriously (on purpose) and is ridiculously silly at times.


Take, for example, this advertisement for Portal 2‘s preorder that is going to hit the developer’s (Valve) digital distribution store Steam very soon. Released on Valentine’s Day, the ad mocks the concept of gifting ideas for the female species.

Okay, that’s about as far as I’m allowed to say without spoiling the entire advert for you. The thing is that it’s done very well (and probably within Valve’s Source engine, judging by the way things moved when… erm… other things exploded). Watch the video here!

However, contrary to what the video says, Portal 2 is not available for preorder. At least not from my country (and not from my random Tor IP either). Is this another one of those Valve Time debacles? Is this a sick joke from Valve’s side, as we poor mortals refresh the Portal 2 page, hoping for a preorder? Is this the end of the world??

No, it’s probably just a mistake by the Portal 2 PR team. It’s alright everybody; we don’t need to do a flash protest here. Move along.

Meta Assassins Turns the WWW Into a Subtle Battlefield

The internet has always been obsessed about itself. Its narcissistic tendencies have been the driving factor in the making of data visualization about its own technologies, semantic web technology and other endless lists full of the emerging science of the hive mind and the self’s position in this meta-world.


Did you understand that previous paragraph? I sure didn’t but that’s how you start these intellectual and deep posts about the internet, data and other characters of the philosophical nature of the World Wide Web.

However, we are not talking about the philosophical nature of the World Wide Web. We are here to talk about the launch of an extremely new kind of experimental game that takes social browsing and networking to a completely new level.

Meta Assassins is a new appthat promises to rid you of your social life, more or less. It is a game in which gamers will be given specific targets (other gamers), who will surf the web. Your job is to track your quarry to the site they are on and kill them in a [virtual] shootout. But, beware you are also someone’s target. You accomplish all this with a Google Chrome or Mozilla Firefox plugin.

The game is currently on a hiatus from the 12th of February. The short playtesting stint was apparently a success, so the developers will be making a redoubled effort into a new avatar.

Although the game works mostly on the world wide web, the amount of data privacy issues this could cause if it were not a game is quite staggering. I would totally turn this into a Hollywood blockbuster (given the right amount of nudging here and there), call it Meta Assassins, and mint money.

If you are interested in this, do check their web page out.

Dragon Age II’s 55 Minute Footage!

Bioware’s new epic, Dragon Age II has just gone gold. This means that the game has [hopefully] removed [almost] all its bugs, the final polishing is done and it is ready to be released. This is the same Dragon Age II that was hinted at quite some time ago, but it only seems like it was yesterday. PC Gamer’s DA2 preview certainly makes it seem like a lip-smacking delight of an RPG which takes the best things from Mass Effect and its predecessor Dragon Age: Origins to make good its promise of an epic and entirely long story.


The developers have released a stupendous fifty-five minute long live-chat session while playing the game. The game was played as the onlookers sat, without any rehearsal or script at hand. The game looks breathtakingly good, and the story (however little of it that can be gleaned from this and the reviews) is far more solid than its predecessor (which, let’s face it, was a very generic story with tiny bits and pieces of enjoyment). There is no arbitrary morality meter, so you can immerse yourself in this game without going through shades of black and white. The game will probably refine the Role Playing genre to such an extent that games after it would probably have to pale in comparison, or so we hope, again.

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You can watch the full video here.

DNF: Balls of Steel Edition Surfaces. Is Awesome.

Duke Nukem Forever is the byword today for anyone born twenty or more years ago. We at Techie Buzz cannot get enough of it with good reason. May will be a tumultuous time for the release of many games as the Duke will be back after a very f***ing long time!

To make sure people are roped in, Gearbox is putting up the Collector’s Edition of Duke Nukem Forever for preordering. To call it hugewould be an understatement.


The edition includes these excellent goodies along with a copy of the game and exclusive cover art:-

  • Collectible bust of the greatest alien ass-kicker of all-time
  • Numbered, limited-edition certificate of authenticity
  • 100-page hardcover book: The History, Legacy & Legend: Duke Nukem Forever Art from the Vault
  • Duke Nukem Forever postcard series
  • Duke Nukem Forever radioactive emblem sticker
  • Duke Nukem Forever collectable comic book
  • Duke Nukem Forever foldable paper craft
  • Duke Nukem Forever poker chips
  • Duke Nukem Forever mini-card deck
  • Duke Nukem Forever radioactive emblem dice

All this for a game that heightens the macho typecasting by a few thousand feet. (Straight from TVTropes Duke’s not slowed down by piddling little bullets and lasers, but it does hurt his morale. Which is why doing manly things like getting drunk, [redacted], watching strippers, or drinking from a water fountain gives the bar a permanent increase.)

Oh, and in case you were wondering the preorders will be up with participating retailersvery soon. Probably tonight. Probably in two minutes. But soon.

Call of Duty Parody Hits 1.25 Million Downloads

When People Can Fly studios released their First Person Shooter (FPS) parody Duty Calls (directly mocking the Call of Duty series), they just wanted it to be a satirical view on the realisticFPS genre and an anti-demo for their game Bulletstorm. Basically, what they were saying is that our game, Bulletstorm, is not this game. It is definitely everything but this game. Look at this game. This game is stupid. You know which game we are talking about, right? Yes, that game., more or less.


It is, in essence, a rather large (~800MB), ESRB rated 17+ (or so their website claims) game that parodies the Call of Duty games, and is pretty funny while doing it. Coming from the folks that created Painkiller and Gears of War, it is a pretty bold move to reclaim the First Person Shooter market dynamics. It was, in a sense, and advertisement for their game too as I have made it clear with my inherent knowledge of psychology, psychoanalysis, psychohistory, psychogeography and other psycho subjects in the first paragraph.

The developers were (obviously) very happy with this, and decided to enthusiastically tweet about the success of Duty Calls. How best to celebrate this grand success, you ask? By releasing Bulletstorm wallpapers, naturally:-

1.25 million Duty Calls downloads! We say thanks with Duty Calls Wallpapers over at our Facebook page:http://www.facebook.com/Bulletstorm

Do take a look at Duty Calls, the parody of your beloved FPS series here.

Dragon Age II Has Quite a Lot of Gaiety

I am pretty sure my readers are used to my terrible puns in the title. It is a habit I cannot let go of, much like the habit of exploring every possible relationship possible in a Role Playing Game (RPG). To that extent, Bioware’s games have always been liberal even slightly rainbow colored. Although the option was glaringly missing in Mass Effect 2, Bioware have decided to let gamers from all orientations (except the slightly unconventional ones, um) experience virtual love in a fantasy world in their own way.


In other words, more homosexual romance options! In Dragon Age: Origins, Zevran Aranai delivered men from the pangs of homosexual lovemaking (the elf was an amorous and libidinous assassin), while Leliana the Orlesian bard did the same for female gamers (which as we know exist in the bodies of Many Men Online Role Playing as Girls {MMORPG} ).


The game itself is mature beyond this fine treatment of the rainbow pride movement. According to the ESRB’s rating synopsis, the game has its fair share of dirty talk as well as one oral sex scene (cough, cough, Bioware):-

During the course of the game, characters sometimes engage in sexual dialogue (e.g., “Why is it always about sex with you?” and “Sailing is like sex. Do it wrong, and it’ll make you sick.”). Players can also initiate brief cutscene sequences in which couples (male-female or same-sex) are shown kissing and embracing one another in a bedroom as the screen fades to black. In one cutscene, a woman kneels in front of a male character and appears to perform fellatio—there is no depiction of the sex act; the camera pans out to the rest of the room. The words “a*s,” “bastard,” and “sh*t” appear in dialogue.

Much fun to be had by the RPG loving legion in about a month’s time, eh?

PlayStation Network Adds a Slew of Games Including Plants vs. Zombies

Sony is becoming quite well versed with the time and tide of things. First Angry Birds was released as a PlayStation Portable (PSP) Mini, and now the hit tower defense game (more correctly, home defense using murderous plants game) Plants vs. Zombies is in for a release on the PlayStation Network (PSN).


In addition to the much loved Plants vs. Zombies, the new titles on the PSN include Acceleration of Suguri X Edition, Slam Bolt Scrappers, Akimi Village, Sideway, and Rochard.

From the press release:-

Plants vs. Zombies: Debuting this February, we all know what this game is all about. If you still have not played this incredibly cute but insanely addictive tower defense game, you should definitely get the PSN version.

Acceleration of Suguri X Edition: SOE and Rockin’ Android have again teamed up for more anime-style robot beat em up! Take up the role of a scorned robot and beat your way to prove your point!

Slam Bolt Scrappers: Building skyscrapers while battling baddies sounds good for you? This game is built for you, then!

Akimi Village: Construct Akimi village and help get rid of its gloom. The details are a bit murky on this one.

Sideway: This art based game places you in the feet of Nox, a 2D rebellious artist in the gritty 3D streets of a nu-art-age New York cityscape. Ambitious and quite possibly the newest kind of game to hit the PSN in a while!


Rochard: Players play the role of space miner John Rochard in his gravity bending adventures. Side-scrolling fun!

Battlestar Galactica Online to have an Open Beta Event in February

Oh yes, yet another epic is going to have its own Massively Multiplayer Online Game (MMOG). After the Lord of the Rings Online (LOTRO), The Old Republic (Star Wars MMO), Star Trek Online, DC Online (this list gets longer and longer) and Dungeons and Dragons Online (Need I say anything here?) it is time for the long running TV series Battlestar Galactica’s turn. Bigpoint’s big MMO will go into open beta this February 8th. Which really translates into you rushing to play as either human or Cylon and blasting someone else into smithereens in space!


Does that sound familiar?

To be fair, the space MMO scene has generally been completely and utterly taken over by EVE Online. So, while this is not aimed at the generic space fiction enthusiasts, fans of the brilliant SF TV series will be the main (or probably only) players of this game.

Massively’s Beau Hindman comments on the scale of the game:-

The variety of ships is nice, allowing players to pilot anything from a basic craft to a massive CM monster. Battles felt very balanced despite the fact that some players were in larger craft. Bigpoint seems to have taken a page from EVE Online’s book by making larger craft slower and easier to hit but chock-full of deadly weapons and other electronic goodies. Missiles can literally be shot out of the sky, so even their existence added some element to gameplay.

Fun? Probably yes. Not for me? Most definitely.

D2D Introduces a Brand New Tell-A-Friend Program

The subtitle reads Gamers Now have More Ways to Save Money and Contribute to Charitywhich, very accurately and precisely, describes the Direct2Drive (D2D) Tell-A-Friend program that has been launched. IGN’s digital distribution store has embarked upon an ambitious new referral program to increase the number of customers of their platform. Whenever a customer refers a game to a friend and the friend buys that game, the referring customer gets a discount on the next purchase, a PayPal refund or the option of donating some money to a charity.


The program details follow:-

All referred friends receive a 20% discount for their first purchase at D2D.
If the referred friend makes a purchase of $49.95 or more, the referrer gets to choose one of the following special offers:

  • 20% off any future order at D2D
  • $10 deposited into their PayPal account
  • $10 donation made to Make-A-Wish Foundation of America

If the referred friend makes a purchase between $29.95 and $49.94, the referrer gets to choose from the below offers:

  • 20% off any future order at D2D
  • $5 deposited into their PayPal account
  • $5 donation made to Make-A-Wish Foundation of America

Coupled with their Bathroom Safety Saleof 20% off all games, it seems that D2D is definitely trying to woo customers away from Steam or Impulse. Go ahead and tell a friend today about some great D2D games!

NGP Will Play Downloadable PSP Games

The Next Generation Portable (NGP) is the next PlayStation Portable (PSP) to be released by Sony. It is, in a word, powerful. However, will this famed new portable gaming machine be able to play its older brother’s games?


According to Gigazine, Sony is planning to introduce backwards compatibility in the NGP. Specifically, the downloadable versions of PSP games can be emulated on this console just as the original PlayStation 3 emulated the PlayStation 2’s games. Since the NGP is obviously tied to the PlayStation Network, you can directly download the games on your account on the NGP and start playing instantly. It is still unknown whether the second analog stick will be used for directional aiming.

However, there is as of now no news regarding the conversion of Universal Media Discs (UMDs), the proprietary gaming disc format for the PSP, into an NGP-readable format. It seems that Sony is content with saying that they are looking around for ways to solve this problem. A similar problem arose when the PSP Go was unveiled, and Sony did not make a UMD reader of any sort for those who wanted to play games from their UMD library on the system.

Nevertheless this is heartening news for all PSP lovers. We can sell our old faithful consoles before buying the spanking new one, and not worry overmuch on the compatibility. However, I will be waiting for a Homebrew Enabler for the NGP before I buy mine!