EA (specifically its subsidiary Bioware’s game Mass Effect 3) is fair game these days it seems – what with the extremely unsatisfying ending, obvious greed with Day 1 DLC as well as numerous reports of Bioware blocking legitimate customers from Origin for allegedly trying to mod the single player (which is precisely the point of owning a game on the PC). Many of the gaming industry’s terrible policies originate from EA, Activision and Ubisoft. However currently EA is leading in the douche-race by a large margin.
So Blizzard, the developers of Starcraft and World of Warcraft (and, ironically, partners of Activision in the publishing business) have put up an entire mobile-game website for a game called Starcraft: Supply Depot 2 with the following description:-
It is a dark time for the galaxy. The alien forces of the savage insectoid Zerg and ancient, militant Protoss have threatened the Terrans for years – but the threat is finally over, and we have lost the war. The time of the descendants of Earth is at an end.
The Terrans pin all of their hopes on a champion – a pillar of war unlike any other before or since. He is all that stands between the advancing hordes and a safer tomorrow, and he will defend the future with his very existence.
Sounds familiar? Yep, that sounds almost but not quite unlike the plot of Mass Effect 3. It is also adorned with many “features” such as “Ridiculous Amounts of Action” and “Fascinating Dialog” and more. Notably these stand out:
Multiple color coded and unfulfilling endings!
Even more endings via revolutionary Democratic DLC™!
Hilarious. Play the game (apparently Android and iPhone versions will be out soon!) here.
They also have some other games “in development” such as Blackthorne 2: Thorne Harder which is a dig at either the Modern Warfare series or the Battlefield series (probably the latter as Activision owns Call of Duty) and Queen’s Quest which features, among other things, a sweeping orchestral soundtrack and this rather simple DRM protection:-
- Sweeping saxophone soundtrack
- Literary consultation from “A Couple of Dudes from Mar Sara”
- Comes on 17 floppy disks
- A revolutionary Digital Rights Management (DRM) scheme in 5 easy steps:
- Open the Spin-A-Spacer DRM application on any smart phone*
- Line up the spacer faces to reveal the page/word matrix value
- Consult your player guide / lore manual, and turn to the appropriate page
- Use the special 3d lenticular glasses to decode the margin text and find the keyword passphrase
- Enter the special passphrase into the on-screen prompt
- Speak “OK” clearly and audibly into the device’s audio input
- ENJOY! (Occassionally, you may be asked to call a toll-free 800 number to verify your identity)
A++ will buy again!