Welcome to another episode of Friday Fun ^[1], hope all you folks are doing good and looking forward to a great weekend ahead.

To be quite frank, I have hardly touched a newspaper for a year now, online news definitely fills up the void for me, but that said I still remember sifting through the classified section to find jobs and other things, over years I have come across several funny ones, here is reliving those memories a pick of the most funny newspaper classifieds assorted from the web.

Don’t Miss: Funniest TV Bloopers ^[2]

And here are some more hilarious newspaper classifieds.

• Free puppies: 1/2 cocker spaniel1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog
• FOR SALE BY OWNER Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition.$1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend.Wife knows everything.
• German shepherd. 85 lbs. neutered. speaks German. free.
• Get a little john: the traveling urinal holds 2 1/2 bottles of beer.
• A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.
• Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.
• We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
• For Sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.
• Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
• Tired of working for only $9.75 per hour? we offer profit sharing and flexible hours. starting pay: $7-$9 per hour.
• Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
• Joining nudist colony, must sell washer & dryer $300.
• Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.
• Illiterate? Write today for free help.
• Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once; you’ll never go anywhere again.
• 3-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.
• Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated. Come here first.
• Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
• Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
• 1 man, 7 woman hot tub -- $850/offer
• Free puppies...part German shepherd part dog
• Cows, calves never bred... also 1 gay bull for sale.
• Free 1 can of pork & beans with purchase of 3 BR 2 Bath home
• Found: dirty white dog...looks like a rat...been out awhile...better be reward.
• Free: farm kittens. ready to eat.

That’s all for this weekend, hope you had a lot of fun reading these classifieds, do you know of any other classified bloopers, do share them with us.

[via ^[3], via ^[4], via ^[5]]