Funny Newspaper Classifieds [Friday Fun]

Welcome to another episode of Friday Fun, hope all you folks are doing good and looking forward to a great weekend ahead.

To be quite frank, I have hardly touched a newspaper for a year now, online news definitely fills up the void for me, but that said I still remember sifting through the classified section to find jobs and other things, over years I have come across several funny ones, here is reliving those memories a pick of the most funny newspaper classifieds assorted from the web.

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And here are some more hilarious newspaper classifieds.

  • Free puppies: 1/2 cocker spaniel1/2 sneaky neighbor’s dog
  • FOR SALE BY OWNER Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition.$1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend.Wife knows everything.
  • German shepherd. 85 lbs. neutered. speaks German. free.
  • Get a little john: the traveling urinal holds 2 1/2 bottles of beer.
  • A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.
  • Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.
  • We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
  • For Sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.
  • Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
  • Tired of working for only $9.75 per hour? we offer profit sharing and flexible hours. starting pay: $7-$9 per hour.
  • Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
  • Joining nudist colony, must sell washer & dryer $300.
  • Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.
  • Illiterate? Write today for free help.
  • Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once; you’ll never go anywhere again.
  • 3-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.
  • Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated. Come here first.
  • Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
  • Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
  • 1 man, 7 woman hot tub — $850/offer
  • Free puppies…part German shepherd part dog
  • Cows, calves never bred… also 1 gay bull for sale.
  • Free 1 can of pork & beans with purchase of 3 BR 2 Bath home
  • Found: dirty white dog…looks like a rat…been out awhile…better be reward.
  • Free: farm kittens. ready to eat.

That’s all for this weekend, hope you had a lot of fun reading these classifieds, do you know of any other classified bloopers, do share them with us.

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Keith Dsouza

I am the editor-in-chief and owner of Techie Buzz. I love coding and have contributed to several open source projects in the past. You can know more about me and my projects by visiting my Personal Website. I am also a social networking enthusiast and can be found active on twitter, you can follow Keith on twitter @keithdsouza. You can click on my name to visit my Google+ profile.