Funny Newspaper Classifieds [Friday Fun]
Welcome to another episode of Friday Fun, hope all you folks are doing good and looking forward to a great weekend ahead.
To be quite frank, I have hardly touched a newspaper for a year now, online news definitely fills up the void for me, but that said I still remember sifting through the classified section to find jobs and other things, over years I have come across several funny ones, here is reliving those memories a pick of the most funny newspaper classifieds assorted from the web.
Don’t Miss: Funniest TV Bloopers
And here are some more hilarious newspaper classifieds.
- Free puppies: 1/2 cocker spaniel1/2 sneaky neighbor’s dog
- FOR SALE BY OWNER Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition.$1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend.Wife knows everything.
- German shepherd. 85 lbs. neutered. speaks German. free.
- Get a little john: the traveling urinal holds 2 1/2 bottles of beer.
- A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.
- Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.
- We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
- For Sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.
- Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
- Tired of working for only $9.75 per hour? we offer profit sharing and flexible hours. starting pay: $7-$9 per hour.
- Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
- Joining nudist colony, must sell washer & dryer $300.
- Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.
- Illiterate? Write today for free help.
- Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once; you’ll never go anywhere again.
- 3-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.
- Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated. Come here first.
- Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
- Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
- 1 man, 7 woman hot tub — $850/offer
- Free puppies…part German shepherd part dog
- Cows, calves never bred… also 1 gay bull for sale.
- Free 1 can of pork & beans with purchase of 3 BR 2 Bath home
- Found: dirty white dog…looks like a rat…been out awhile…better be reward.
- Free: farm kittens. ready to eat.
That’s all for this weekend, hope you had a lot of fun reading these classifieds, do you know of any other classified bloopers, do share them with us.
Author: Keith Dsouza 
